Gutter Maintenance and Revolt

I spent my entire day at a home and garden show. Lemons, meet lemonade.

Imagine this. An elderly woman looks down at her husband. They were both the same age, but time had taken a greater toll on his body over the years than it had hers. At this point in his life simple tasks like pulling weeds and mowing the lawn were too difficult. He had successfully rehabilitated after suffering a mild stroke some years back. Meanwhile, she had been fortunate, experiencing zero significant health issues and maintaining mobility despite the nearing scythe and hourglass of Father Time.

One day, while the two discussed the changing seasons outside of their Michigan home, it was agreed that it was once again time to clean their gutters. Concerned for her husband’s health but still confident in her body’s abilities, the elderly woman volunteered to take on the additional chore. She got dressed, hauled the wooden ladder from the garage, climbed to the top, and began cleaning the leaf debris which had accumulated.

And then…tragedy.

In the moments that followed, the elderly woman, healthy by all other standards, would lose her balance and fall from the ladder, breaking her neck as she hit the ground, and dying almost instantly.

Sure, they could have paid someone to do the work. There are plenty of companies which specialize in gutter cleaning. However, between her husband’s medical bills and other financial obligations, the couple decided that it wasn’t worth an additional payout from their already budgeted retirement checks. When their neighbor told me this story I was in awe of the irony. How many times prior must they have emptied their gutters and then moved on with their day? They were homeowners, after all.

But today things could have been different. Today a solution exists that could have prevented the old lady’s accident. Who knows how many years she would have otherwise had in front of her?

Gutter guards have since become an option for homeowners. Technically, they’ve existed in some form or another for a very long time, but newer models have shown much greater worth and value. Here’s how they work:

A flat surface guard, made from quality materials such as high grade surgical steel that doesn’t allow organic debris to move through it, snaps on to a home’s existing gutters. Then, voilà! From that moment on when the rains pour, water may bleed into the gutters as intended, but everything else that falls will be stopped by the guard and washed away.

Once again technology and innovation have created a great convenience for society. Now, money typically paid out to gutter cleaners may be saved (or used elsewhere). Seniors like the woman mentioned above will no longer need to scale dangerous ladders for routine maintenance. No one will (if they choose to take advantage).

This solution does not require purchasing new gutters and the price varies depending on the size of your project.

Also, some companies’ products are better than others, so do your research!

But the bottom line is that the market has spoken yet again, and in the future, gutter guards could potentially save a life. They probably already have!

The tyranny of gutters and gutter maintenance has finally come to an end. Freedom has once again emerged victorious.

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Joe Ruiz

Joe Ruiz is a writer, political aficionado, pop culture enthusiast, pro-wrestling smark, MBA graduate, former US Congressional candidate, ukulele tinkerer, Puerto Rican / American, Freemason, marketing guy, podcaster, and family man. He currently hosts The CAP (Culture & Arts Podcast) and is the Managing Editor at We Are Libertarians.

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